Strengths and Weaknesses

“This post is my May entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival.  If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetessocmed.com/2013/may-dsma-blog-carnival-3/"

Question: What do you consider to be your Diabetes Strengths?  What do you think are your Diabetes Weaknesses?

Coming off of the Diabetes Blog Week, I have decided I am going to get deeper into blogging about diabetes and stop hiding in the shadows of my disease. This is my first DSMA (Diabetes Social Media Advocacy) Blog Carnival, but hopefully not the last!

I think my greatest diabetes strength is determination. It could be argued that determination is not a result of diabetes, but I think I have come out of this disease stronger and wiser than I would if I was just your average 22 year old struggling professional. When I have a bad blood sugar, I am determined to make it better. When I am told that something will be harder to accomplish because I have diabetes, you can bet I am going to work harder. I don't let the threat of diabetes stop from at least trying, and that's huge. My determination to beat this disease is what keeps me going. I could sit on a couch and wait to die, but there are mountains to climb, trees to hug, lessons to still be learned....

Ironically, my greatest weakness is acceptance. I am pretty vocal about my disease, my coworkers, and eventually my students found out about my diabetes, but I still have a hard time accepting that I have a chronic illness. Sometimes when I try something, I fail, and that gets to me. Sometimes the most random thing will make me angry about diabetes. I have a hard time accepting that if I get a cold, I also get high blood sugars and ketones. I have a hard time accepting that when it's a friends birthday, I will end up taking a bite out of someone's piece because I can't eat a whole one myself. I have a hard time accepting that no matter how good I feel and what I can accomplish, I am still weighed down by a tiny machine that beeps at me and essentially keeps me alive.

I think it is an interesting balance when you really think about it. For as much as I speak out about diabetes, there is still a large part of me that wishes I could hide it. I think something to work on, considering these choices as my weaknesses and strengths is to focus more on the people who do accept me the way I am, and look at home much I can do despite this illness. Learn to accept myself with the gifts I have been given and know that my determination outweighs my lack of acceptance.