Diabetes Blog Week- Day One

May 13-19, 2013 is designated as Diabetes Blog Week, and this year, I think I am going to take the challenge! I had heard of it before this year, but either wasn't into blogging at the time or just felt a general lack of motivation to participate. This year is all about stepping outside of my comfort zone though, so for the next week, I will be following the writing prompts to the best of my ability.

Often our health care team only sees us for about 15 minutes several times a year, and they might not have a sense of what our lives are really like. Today, let’s pretend our medical team is reading our blogs. What do you wish they could see about your and/or your loved one's daily life with diabetes? On the other hand, what do you hope they don't see?

I think I have a fairly good medical team, that takes care of me. They've helped me out a lot this past year as I have been travelling and couldn't get into appointments. I have had the same endocrinologist office since I was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes in 2005, and I really hope that I will not have to switch offices anytime in the near future. What I wish they could see about my daily life with diabetes is just the general, random stuff that makes life unexpected. I know when they read my insulin pump at the office, they circle the days where I have weird numbers or do manual boluses instead of using the wizard (sorry, if you read my blog for non-diabetes related issues, you might be lost here).

What I wish they could see about that is that sometimes I am so BUSY. I barely have time to breathe much less calculate carbs and exercise and micromanage diabetes on the day. But, it doesn't mean that I don't care. I wish they would focus less on the three days where I have weird readings and focus on the three months where everything is going amazingly.

What I hope they don't see is how the diagnosis can get to me sometimes. How the disease, no matter how much I joke about it, or take care of myself, wears on me. They already know, so it may be a silly wish that they don't see it, but still, I want them to see me as the strong woman that I have become despite the shortcomings of being diabetic. I hope they never think I am a quitter, I hope they see my determination outshining the moments where I want to throw my glucose meter against a wall and pretend that everything is alright.

Most of all, I hope they know how much I appreciate them and what they have done for me. They saw a scared little girl with a scary diagnosis join the lacrosse team, make the varsity cross country team, and graduate high school. They saw me go to France, Switzerland, Ecuador. They saw me graduate college with honors and begin a career. They are seeing me return to school. And they've never given up on me, never stopped joking and never stopped making me feel like I was going to do good in the world, and not let an illness hold me back.