Start a blog theme, and stick with it for a few days, then abandon it like the last few attempts (sorry DSMA and Thanksgiving...). And while I have stated before that I will never be a prolific blogger, and have casually mentioned at least a half dozen times that I am busy, the benefits of online blogging keep coming back to me. I have been frustrated lately. Medically, academically, and socially. I am starting to feel the wear of diabetes on me this school work with working long hours, taking night classes and adjusting to a variety of other spur of the moment issues.
The idea of money has become more of a reality to me lately, and although I still have a year to go until I need to find a place to live on my own; I am realizing that apartments don't pay for themselves and money doesn't save itself either. Not that I am bad- I think I am one of the more financially prudent people I know, but it's also not growing on trees out in the wild.
My idea of what I would have once called a support system is also changing. One of the big reasons I became interested in online blogging was for the diabetes online community, which I have come to realize, can be a hard place to break into. I am at the point where I no longer volunteer myself to be a guest blogger or to be a panelist, because I am not one of the "known" people, or I don't have a famous blog or an eBook, or an Instagram of used test strips. And, that's okay with me. I think my decision to blog about diabetes in cohesion with my life, as I know it, works out best for me. I am not going to work in the medical field. I am not going to publish anything major on how to live with diabetes. I'm not throwing shade on any prominent bloggers in the DOC, don't be mistaken; I just think the focus I have now is more narrow than what I had originally envisioned.
My ideals as a classroom teacher have changed. Now that I am over the excitement of being a first year teacher, I don't have flurries of excitement every time my students do something, and I have become a bit more conscious of WHAT to disclose.
So, what do I want? What am I thinking? Where is this blog headed if I am tired of diabetes and the hooplah of new teachers have worn off? Where am I going if I admit that I haven't been to church in three weeks mainly because I haven't WANTED to go? (Oops)